How to Use This Learning Set
The article of this week (Week Four) and the article of the following week (Week Five) are two stages of the same inner journey. But they are not meant to be read in the same state of mind. The Week Four article is not written to calm you down. It is written to help you feel what arises within you— fear, discomfort, and confusion. So after reading the Week Four article, do not rush to understand it. Do not try to fix anything. Do not evaluate yourself. Take a little pause. Let the experience settle. The Week Five article comes after that. It is not meant to correct what happened in Week Four, but to place that experience in the right context and help you understand it clearly
When reading these two articles together, do not mix them.
- First, feel
- Then, understand
If this order is reversed, a deep experience turns into mere intellectual thinking. The purpose of this learning set is not to improve you. It is simply to help you be honest with yourself. That is all.
Why Does Fear Arise When We Sit in Observation?
(Because this is the moment when our imagined self-image breaks and reality appears)
Meditation is the art of discovering the hidden truths we carry about ourselves. When we sit down to observe ourselves, something unexpected begins to happen. The mind does not become calm first. Clarity does not come first. Peace does not come first. What comes first is the exposure of truth. The dark areas of the mind— which were never noticed or examined before— begin to surface slowly. When we sit in meditation, without engaging in external activities, without occupying ourselves, these darker areas gradually begin to show themselves. For most of our lives, we do not live as we truly are. We live as the image we hold about ourselves.
We usually think of ourselves like this:
- “I am compassionate”
- “I genuinely love”
- “I am mature”
- “I am strong”
These are not deliberate lies. They are beliefs we have never honestly tested.
What Does Observation Do?
Observation does not argue. It does not support. It simply looks. And in that looking, these images begin to break down slowly.
Jealousy Where We Believed There Was Compassion
You may believe you are compassionate. When a colleague is struggling, you listen attentively. You help. You feel, “I genuinely care.” But when that same person progresses beyond you, when they are praised or appreciated, something tightens inside. A subtle comparison. A quiet inner criticism. A small sense of relief when they make a mistake. Nothing changed in them. What changed was your self-image. What you believed was compassion worked only as long as you felt secure. When this inner contradiction becomes clear, fear arises.
Aggression Where We Believed There Was Love
You may believe you deeply love someone— a partner, a child, or a family member. But when they do not listen to you, do not change as you expect, or make decisions different from yours, your voice hardens. Patience disappears. Guilt, pressure, or silent punishment appears. You justify yourself by saying, “I’m doing this for their good.” In observation, an uncomfortable truth emerges: Within your love, there was a hidden control. This truth feels frightening. Not because you are bad, but because a cherished image is breaking.
Pettiness Where We Believed There Was Maturity
You may think of yourself as emotionally mature. You may believe, “Small things don’t affect me.” When someone praises you, you say: “What have I done? I am nothing. I am just an instrument. Everything happened because of Him.” By repeating this often, you create an image— both in others and in yourself— that you do not care for appreciation. You begin to believe this image. But when your name is not mentioned, when your contribution is ignored, something inside gets hurt. Outwardly, there is calm. Inwardly—calculation. You remember. You slowly withdraw. You call this dignified behaviour. In observation, it reveals itself as silent resentment.
Fear Where We Believed There Was Strength
You may believe you are strong. You do not complain. You do not ask for help. You manage everything. But when uncertainty appears— illness, loss of work, or emotional exposure— you cannot remain steady. You keep yourself busy, diverting attention elsewhere. Not because of strength, but because of the fear of feeling weakness. In observation, what you believed was strength is seen as mere slipping away. This is a major shock to the self-image.
Latent Tendencies and the Role of Observation
Sometimes, life brings out these hidden tendencies through harsh external situations. But such extreme situations are not always necessary. When observation becomes a steady state, even without external triggers, tendencies that were lying dormant begin to come into the light. For example, a person may firmly believe, “I would never take a bribe.” At the same time, he is building a new house. Ten million is still required to complete it. He tries to get a bank loan, but things do not move as expected. In that situation, someone offers to get a task done and is willing to give ten million for it. At that moment, the belief “I am not this kind of person” and the pressure of the situation collide with each other. What appears then is not a new nature. It is the limit of a self-image that had never been tested in such conditions. Observation does not create these tendencies. It does not force them out. It does only one thing— it creates a state where what was hidden can no longer remain hidden. Life sometimes shows truth through shock. Observation shows the same truth quietly, gently, from within.
Where Does Fear Arise?
Observation does not create fear. Fear arises only when the imagined self-image we lived by begins to collapse. Meditation and observation do not produce fear. Truth produces fear— when we have invested in illusion. As long as we were busy, trying to improve, trying to prove ourselves, this image remained protected. The moment we sit in observation, that dream begins to break.
The mind reacts immediately:
- “This is not for me.”
- “This is too much.”
- “Something is wrong with this practice.”
Then we conclude: “Meditation creates fear.” No. Meditation reveals what fear was protecting all along
What Should We Do With This Fear?
This fear is not an obstacle. It is not a mistake. It is not something to be quickly overcome. It is a threshold.
At this point:
- Forced willpower is dangerous
- Coping strategies are useless
- Self-improvement becomes an escape
What is needed is only one thing— honest seeing. When fear arises, see this clearly: “This is not fear of observation. It is fear of losing the imagined image I had about myself.” Do not fight the fear. Do not justify it. Do not spiritualize it. Pause. If you do not escape, do not build a new image, do not condemn yourself with guilt, something essential happens. What falls is not you. What falls is the dream you were living. What remains is not failure or ugliness, but a simplicity that was never imagined. That is why fear comes first. Not to stop you— but to strip away the false covering so that truth can be seen clearly.
